my muse.

(1) Less than 24 hours<3
(2) Less than 24 days more<3
(3) Less than 24 minutes ago<3

Oh how i loveeeeeee 24 :)
&24 divided by 2 is 12.
Soooo what makes me love it more is that 12 is my fahvurret number :)


Okay I am happy today because I finished 22 skills which qualifies me to pass my clinical posting.
Hehehe, i will try and get my book back from the lecturer for other skills to be signed but yes, no more worries :)


I am strong enough to face this obstacle and I've open up enough details to talk about my private life before you.
I've learned that ego plays a big part in any r/s& being big-headed doesn't even help.
So if you think you want to leave, leave and don't say "we'll meet again" or "keep in touch" b/c it hurts too much for me to think about it or you anymore.
Sorry is cliche.
If it's goodbye, then IT IS goodbye.

S-"Till we meet again." (hands out hand for a shake)
C-"Just go." (walks away)
C- (in his mind)If i were to hold your hands, I won't be able to let go. So please just leave.
S-"Stupid boy." (runs to C and hugs him)

That's our story.

JP0904A's Chalet (3D2N),
This chalet is like a gathering before our attachment to separate hospitals/wards/etc.
So that's why I was super excited about it,
expected more but it's okay.

I didn't get to sleepover for the first night because basically there's no plan on the night except for those who wants to drink. But since I don't drink, I decided to not sleepover. Reached the chalet at around 6pm w Shanti, Nab& Yass. Waited for the rest to get dressed and off we went to downtown to eat dinner together. After which, headed back to chalet and played games and stuffs.
My initial plan was to catch the last train then meet up w a friend after that, but apparently there was no more train at Pasir Ris, so called up my savior...my dad and he picked me up so I didn't get to meet my friend ):

Anws, I overslept the next day so my plan to go for mandarin class backfired so decided to delay my time to go for the chalet. Asked Ayah to send me to downtown at 6pm and meet up w Yass and bought some stuffs at Watsons and headed to chalet.
Joked around and I've made a new friend who is Dzul's friend who is also named Dzul -.- And he thought I was not 17 and that I looked older. :S
Headed to the bbq pit that they booked(ni part mcm what!? but just go ahead w the plan la) and eat, chat, blah blah blah. Oh yes, CJM came. Who's CJM? ChooJokeMui, Jpa's Class Advisor. Hahahaha! Naik basikal tu pun suke -.-

Then, yeaaaaaah, blah blah blah, the bbq ended at 12am. Then went back to chalet, v mendak cause their plans all like cocked up. Merepek gile part ni.
I didn't sleep till about 6am when almost half of them went to catch the 1st train back home. Slept beside Fahmy and that also, not fully sleeping. Spent half the time shifting about on the floor. Yes, I sleep at the floor. The cold cold floor, luckily it's clean.
At about 10am, started packing and bid goodbye to the rest of them. Sasha, Nab and myself showered at the swimming pool's toilet and joined the boys afterwards. Went to downtown to eat at Macs w Fahmy, Nab, Sasha, Din, Faiz, Dzul, Fad& Bani. Then took 3 to Tampines and trained back home. Told you Chalet was a bit mendak. -.-

Time for pictures(a little bit only, the rest is at FB);




















Elfy's 19th,
After our last mandarin lesson, Su asked me to join them for Elfy's 19th Birthday celebration at Tampines Mall. While the rest are gone, Suhailah, Suree& Myself headed to Simei to buy Elfy's cake first, then take the train to Tampines and walked around TM while waiting for the rest to get their seats at Pizza Hut.
After receiving a call that they gotten their seats, we gave the cake to one of the staffs to ask them to surprise Elfy later. Sally& Sid joined us later and we ate talk joked took pictures and Suree and Suhailah went to the 'toilet' and when Elfy and Aisyah came back from the ladies, the staffs and the cake came. We sang a birthday song loudly, and Elfy said she was touched and she almost wanted to cry. Awwww.
Anyways, after the celebration I couldn't follow them to Kallang because of some matters so bid goodbye to all of them in the train.

Pictures/Videos,

//
Sidetrack sikit;
24th and 25th is going to be the bomb. Going back to school on the 30th for Mask Fitting& 1st July for BL Meeting!!!! :)

I miss my 4 gfs btw!!

I ammmm sooooo hungry right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Packet of maggi, here I come for youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
:B.

xoxo.

I expected more from Jpa's chalet, but it's all good.
We did bond and everything, so it's all good.
I did enjoyed it btw(:
Pictures will be up in the next post or smth like that..

//
've made up my mind,
it's my final decision.
've seek advice and 'm taking it.
I don't want to be at the losing end,
(lending S's quote,) I am fighting for my happiness.
I am comfortable w both but there is this distinct difference between both of them that only I know about.
"We're still friends so I don't see the difference." - If you're reading this, I am sorry. You have your happiness already and you can't be greedy to want to have both. I still want to be friends w you, but just friends, not more than that. Take care of your other half.

If you read my fb page, I said, "I'm left w one. The old one."
I have made a promise to a friend that I will pluck up the courage to do so, and You, the one I promise at 3.40am in the morning just now on the phone, jangan pula kembang biler baca ni. Aku kan dah promise kau so you know i'll do it right? Because we're talking about Syafiqa here who will somehow or rather not break her promise ;)

I ask myself everyday whether was it worth it doing all this for you? Well, only you will know my answer.

xoxo.

It's all good.

"'m still good, 'm still fine.

But what's life without a little drama? Just a teensy drama(wouldn't call it drama, but hell it sounds so suspense-y! :P) but it's all good and back to the ol' times."
- updated JeSuisSyaf.bs at 9.27pm.

Some of the bunch,
Going back to Yc on Friday night was the best decision 've made so far! ;).
It made me realized how much I loved high school when I saw the teachers, juniors and the performing arts group(obviously malay dance) performing that day.
I wanted to almost cry when I saw a particular boy performing that night because he reminded me sososososo much like C.B.
No, everything is good between both of us, just that the resemblance was so uncanny that I feel that I was looking at C.B instead of the boy(:

I hugged the 3 other girls when I met them up. First was obviously, Wanie because I met her first. Then, Iqah& the failed attempt to hug Tyra -.- Haha, still I did! Heh. Love the girls so much. Orgasmic(sp?) feeling after meeting them, hehehe so excited la!

Everyone's so different in a way already when I saw them that night. Malay Dance was theeeee bomb okay!(being biased right now, but wth, I was from it what!) Hehe.

After Syf Gala, went to SB Macs for supper! Catch up a lil bit, hehe. But Tyra, Wanie& Iqah left early. So it's Yass and the Bcube boys who actually joined us early just now. Walked back w the boys but I took the bus soon later and reached home at almost 1am. Hehehehe.

Saturday:
Some of the bunch
Went to school in the morning w Nab for Nursing Studies lesson.
Ms Choo was kind enough to give us questions that was not in the previous years' exam papers.
Hopefully, it'll help me w the revision.
After class finished at almost 1pm, the girls(Sasha, Maj, Nab& myself) went to the toilet to fix our makeup for the outing and the boys painstakingly waited almost half an hour for us to finish outside school. Hehehe.
Then we(Sasha, Nab, Maj, Iqbal, Yass, Rab(Baby), Fad, Dzul& myself) went to Tanah Merah to take the train to Marina to eat there first.
Went off w/o Iqbal after that since he got a date w Mira. Hehe.
Headed to Zara, Topman& Fourskin first since Sasha wanted to get a leather jacket for her bf, searched and searched but to no avail.

Ate at Ljs next and Fahmy and Min joined us later. Bought takeaways Din also, and headed up to underground to meet Din.
Left underground at about 3pm i think, then studied at Esplanade Library(which was the original plan but it took a lot of time to get to the original plan which we finally did). Heh.
In the library, all studied Nursing Studies and Raudha/Stef& Syu joined us also. Then we left the library at almost 7pm and took 960 to Bugis. Stef had to leave after that.
We headed at Haji Lane for Mosi Cafe to sheesha there. My virgin sheesha puff that is, that night. Hehehehe.
Played games to lighten up the atmosphere and everyone was having a blast at that point of time. Had to leave at 9.30pm since Ibu reminded me in the morning not to go home late like the night before.
Went to Bugis station w Fad, Nab, Fahmy& Din and trained back home. Reached home by 11pm. Bathed/ Watched tv and slept early.


Life Right Now:
'm still the same Syaf btw. Only trying to change to be a lady meaning no more swearing and instead use polite but angry words. Get it? No? Nevermind.
I have to change since it's for the best.
Because I think 'm falling head over heels for him again.
(:(
Good or bad?
...........
'm starting to be smitten when I see him even just a glance..
That's how much I think I love you.
But it's interesting that I can't seem to tell you that I love you. It's interesting how you are always the one that 'll still choose now matter how many guys 've got to know. It's interesting when I say "i'll move on" but in the end, it always revert back to you. It's interesting that 'll always think of what to say to you to make sure I don't make a fool of myself infront of you though you have already seen my candid moments. It's interesting that your little gestures still makes me feel all tingly and happy jumpy little girl. It's interesting that I can't count how many times 've cry and giggle excitedly for you. It's interesting that I always think of you whenever I see my junior. It's interesting that you find me funny at times when I know my jokes are always lame. It's interesting that I still do not know the real reason to why I still fall for you eventhough I can never know when and whether you'll love me back. Buttttt, it will be more interesting if only you knew my blog and read this and straight away text me and tell me you love me too. It will be more interesting if you knew about this feeling that I have kept from you for you for a long time.
(:(


Exam is tomorrow& wednesday.
Hep B jab is on this coming week.
Napfa test is on this coming week also.
Posting results is on this coming week also.
Clearing of lockers is on this coming week also.
Idris's 17th/ Nadrah's 17th/ Sysse's 18th is on this coming week also.
Chinese Lesson is on 3rd week of June.
JP0904A Chalet is on 3rd week of June also.

So many events! Okay, since 'll be busy to update, 'll do an advance shoutout to them.
JUNE 1st; Happy 17th Idris! :)
JUNE 1st; Happy 17th Nadrah Rozman! :)
JUNE 3rd; Happy 18th Ainni Subhi! :)


xoxo.

everybody knows...

I love school so zee much.
JP0904A is zee sex!!!!!
Forget all the drama mama teachers, we still rock better than them.

(:

You can see 'm attached to them already.
Didn't expect to initially by the first week, but then it happened naturally.
I love Life Skills! Best subject ever, and also a rocking '20 forever' teacher. (inside joke)

xo.