NOT AS WE PLANNED.

"Should I tell you that I miss you? That I am so used to your presence that I can't adapt when you're not around? Things are just not what it was planned to be now, is it?

But I miss the other one also. I don't miss you as much as last time right now, but whenever I meet you, butterflies in my stomach kept forming and yes, my heart beats faster than ever whenever I see you. When I hear your heart beats as calm as ever, it sends all sorts of signal to me till I feel all giggly and tingly.

So who?"
- updated JeSuisSyaf.bs at 3.09am.

Was conferencing w 5 people on the phone just now,
it was all so fun except for the part where we discussed about something.
It's too serious that I couldn't even bare to imagine what would happen in the future..

Things are now not as smooth as it was supposed to be.
I messed up, I got greedy, I got unfair and finally I deserved this.

"What is actually the definition of a man?"
"Big Ego."
"They are not Syaf! I mean I'm a man or boy if you called me that but woman have much more ego as big as a hippo. Or is it because of the guys you knew and they turned out crappy, you've decided that all men have huge egos?"
"No, I've lived and learnt...so for now, men have huge egos."
"Well girls OR woman are temperamental."
"So is the guys.."
"...."

;You asked me what is the definition. &you're disagreeing? Then next time don't ask. Pfft.


I can't adapt to this. I can't be the one who you'll resort to as a last resort. No, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking to the other you.
My eyes are about to shut tight...yet I can't bring myself to sleep w/o waking up at least 10mins each half an hour to check if you would text or took the initiative to call me.
No, this time it is not the caffeine or redbull's fault. It's yours.
I guess I have to let this go, don't be such a pessimist but......well....we'll see.

:/