never again.

Like I said previously, pictures of what? School la of course :)
Please please please pardon the un-makeup face or the ugly bared forehead. hehehe.
It's school what! No need to impress people.
Except for David i guess ^^

Waaaaah muka semua pecah orang kate.
Muke Syaf maha besar pe. Gemuk nah Syaf.
:(

Ah kan, muke pecah gile at school. Haiyooooo~
Fat girl -.-

Okay actually got more but not school related. Hahahaha.
Phase test this Saturday, lucky i'm quite prepared.
Track& Field starts tomorrow but my event? Next week.
Jersey gotten and now what?
Train la for running& jump.
Okay byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

School made my life better.
I feel happier for that moment.
I guess only that matters most.

I still miss you, yknow.
& I am on track and field school team. :S
Imagine? Me in the team. Hahahaha, at least there's one eye candy I will look forward to for every practice. Guess only Lia, Lisa& Nab would get what I mean. Hehehehe.

Okay I love school :)
Muscle cramps everywhere!!!!!!
&birthday's coming. hehehehe.

Will upload lots of pictures soon.
My diet plan is going to work from now on.
Byeeeeee food.

xooooooo for D.
goodnight.

trying to

should i even care that you took the initiative to text me?
why am i so down?
even D's text doesn't seem to make me smile.
even calling Ibu and wishing her over the phone happy birthday& telling her i love her& her reaction was giggling, doesn't seem to make me smile.
even Yasser trying to cheer me up through texting doesn't make me smile.
matter of fact, the important thing is all of it doesn't make me feel happy one bit.

school will make me happy i guess.
or not.

or maybe it's just that i miss you so so much :'(
i really do.

reflect

at sixteen, i don't feel like there's anyth special to celebrate about.
this time(coming seventeen), i still feel there's nothing special to celebrate about.
it's just a day where it'll remind you of how old you're getting and remind you of how responsible you're supposed to be.
my wish? is to have my family back like what it used to be. but i guess that wish would never come true. 'll miss it, i will.
i don't need no party or any celebration. never had that before. never will experience that at all.

must be us, must have been unique

Tu la I dah kater school is cool, you all tak caye kan?
Tgk semua budak Jpa dah terpekik macam binatang liar.
:)

Like i said, school is awesome awesome rulezzxzxzxz greeaaaaat today.
Everyone had fun, Jpa is so zealous today. On the other hand, the rest of the class were all so jealous of our zealous-ness ;)

Okehhhhh pictures/videos are up in FB soon.
Mayb if I have the mood, 'll upload here.

xo.

fight back.

School's awesome school's great school rules.
Tired v tired, but awesome tetap awesome.
Sm people are just annoying and getting on my nerves anw but it's school.
What would a school be w/o annoying people who is super inconsiderate, right?
Whatever it is, shan't let these people ruin my day or my studies.

Read babyg's blog and gosh its so true, i tend to love whole-heartedly.
Anw i need to meet you girls soooon!
:(((((((((
imymymymymymy u all!

byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

some old some new.

Forgive the previous entry, too sad at that point of time i guess.
Deleted it already so wtf.
Anw, old picturesssss found in my old photobucket(!)




Shorttttt hair!!!!!! :(


Dance timess :(


My old cat, i hate cats actually but i love this oldddd electronic cat of mine. :(


Goshhhhhh this is so so old.

okehhhh have to sleep early will look forward to school starting from now on.
thats all i have.
bye.

tgif,

Finally it's the weekends. As much as school's fun, 'm starting to feel so tired.
I should be at my uncle's house act, but lazy got the best of me.
Had Fiqah's advance birthday celebration(her birthday's tmw anw) just now after class ended at 1.
Loved loved loved her priceless reaction, hehehe.
Okehhhh happy advance birthday Fiqah(!) enjoy tonight hehe :)

oh, our Hep B last dose will take place on my birthday.
wow, that's a great present, no no, i love being prick. really so it's not really that sarcastic. hehe.

i think 'll love Fridays more often now :)

byeeeee.

contradicting.

I am backkkkkk, sadly school has started.
Wait no, I'm starting to like school.
Mayb cause we get to go back early on certain days tho we have to like, cramp all the topics into our, according to our CA, coconut heads, by the seventh week and then, it's exams time(!)
Yay....no not really.

Anw, The Mentalist tonight, DON'T FORGET TO WATCH!
Put your books aside and watch this instead okeh!!!! :)

*dddddd<33333 ^^,

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

never want to let go.

"The way your part of me,
I would have to re-learn everything,
If you were to leave,
So fast you make me feel like was autumn Leaves,
And honestly... there's a perfect explanation
Why you feel so good to say that your

Chorus:
My love, my love, my love
I´ll give you all my love if you, if you,
If you don't change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
So right, I wanna man like you forever in my life.

I'm a stick inside a jar,
Turn the lid and set me free,
I love everything that you are,
Has a million other reasons,
But lets not go to far,
Stay, close to my heart,
When I think about the future,
I am right there where you are,
Cuz you´re...

Chorus:
My love, my love, my love
I´ll give you all my love if you, if you,
If you don't change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
So right, I wanna man like you to say you´re,

My love, my love, my love
I´ll give you all my love if you, if you,
If you don't change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
So right, I wanna man like you forever in my life.

I know, that you, would never leave me hanging,
Hanging out to dry in the wind,
I know that we haven´t seen the worst ofit,
But when we do, I promise you we´ll stick it out together.

Chorus 2x:
My love, my love, my love
I´ll give you all my love if you, if you,
If you don't change a thing,
About the way you hold me everynight,
So right, I wanna man like you forever in my life.

So right, I wanna man like you forever in my lifeeeeee."

-----------

I'm all loveee right now but sad.
Endure N, endure.
What's another few days compared to 8 months of waiting?
What's another 2 years compared to what 've been through?
:')
Yeah im that strong(i think), more like patience has got a lot to do w it.

On the other hand, 'll be by your side no matter what your decision is.
You know i love you, M.
:)

-----------

've internet connection problems w my computer so 'll upload pictures by next week i hope, bcubes/paramedics/e-crew.
<3.

kbyeeee.

still a raya mood, no?

Was across the border the wholeeee Saturday because of.....raya visit cum kak yana's engagement ceremony.
Hehehe shes so pretty :)
Not to mention 2 of the waiters from the catering service is mega cute but the downfall is that they....are not singaporeans. Lol.

Okay saya sedang letih, so pictures on Saturday only okayyyyy. will update a proper one about raya after raya is over :)

Byeeeee.








HOW CUTEZZZZ IS THE BABY!? OMGGGGGG! (referring to the picture above)



Hopefully tomorrow's outing will be awesome :) kachingggggg!

I can't wait to enroll to dance class!
Hehehehehe!
'm sooooo happy right now.
&'ve been a red blooded woman for 5 days now(?) i think.
That could probably explains my sadthenhappythendistraughtthenexcited post like now(!!!!)

&why's my device arriving so late!?
I want it nowwwwwwww ):

Right now 'm wondering whether my attachment pay is in my account already or not. Right now 'm wondering what D is up to. Right now 'm wondering is there any food in the kitchen. Right now 'm wondering how am I going to spend my holidays wisely. Right now 'm wondering whether Monday's outing will be awesome or not(but D's day is on that day also! :S). Right now 'm wondering if I am ever going to go out of the house to jalan raya w my family(or either w mum/dad). Right now I am hungry.

I think i should study, shouldn't i? Mmmmm let me get something to eat first, then we'll talk about study. Hehehe.

byeeeeeeez.

not what you expected.

I can't say 'm leading the life that I want right now, but 'm sure as time pass by, 'll get used to the fact that my family is going to be physically broken soon. Only a few knew about the situation but after they read this, 'm sure many will know about it and probably ask one another about this. So to cut it short, just ask me. 'm not rich or pampered or fortunate or such a brat like what people said. I actually had to fight for what I want. Or at least show some effort that I did try(probably than I might get what I want and that also depends on whether 'll comply to the rules). I am neither happy nor sad. I am just neutral. Most of the time if you see me smiling or laughing, it'll be for that moment of time(or incident) only. Then 'll back to the same old routine. 've tried my best to change their decisions but if they do not want to, 've to respect their decisions being whether it'll hurt me or not. Now isn't that frustrating? Don't get me wrong, I love my dad& mum. But sometimes, their egos will overtake them and they'll start thinking for themselves and not the children. Both starts to plan their futures w/o each other and how are they going to cope w changes involving themselves& only the children(w/o their so called wife/spouse anymore). 'm not too sure myself if 'm fine right now. But i will be, maybe. Till then, 've not idea how long can I be 'myself'.

As you know about D, I never regretted getting to know D few years back. I hesitated for a while probably because he's quite older than me& we had this weird connection between friends(that when we found out about it recently, we realized that we were physically near yet mentally/psychologically far). We contacted for a while or so, then stop contacting each other. Till he saw me again, then he started contacting me again and that was a year ago. That's when we frequently talk on the phone, texts each other and D looks out for me(our v first inside story). I ignored the fact that I hated giving my number to strangers just like that. But he was a different case. He knew my people and I kinda knew his. I remember meeting him for the v first time. He thought I was wearing a police tee when an actual fact is that i wasn't. Now that I thought about it, I realized what a catch line to start a conversation. It was cute tho. After that less than 20 mins meeting w each other since he just walked me home from the bus stop, he texted me that it wasn't going to be the last time. True enough, it was just the beginning. We started meeting frequently. He is a good listener, friend, kind of weird, mysterious but too nice at times. I love being w him, just talking walking sitting doodling studying joking insulting storytelling and whatnot. Frankly, I didn't expect anything between us to go beyond friends. I even fought w a friend last year because of this. But eventually I was expecting for it to happen...till now. I tried to make friends w the other opposite sexes. But I tend to exclude myself from their life after texting or talking on the phone w them just after the first time. Reason why? idk. But 'll find out from myself soon. No matter what, D still has his tiny portion in my heart.

Choosing the right friends is important in life. That is why no matter how temperamental/ego/hypocrite/gossipers they are, only four people meant the most to me. I don't have to type it here but you should have guessed it. Especially one of them whose been there for me since I was only 11. We have many different personalities, dress codes, attitudes and life but if we put the flaws aside, I realised that these are actually the only people I need in my life to support my back when 'm going to crash and fall. No, they're not my bff or what shit these kids calls these days. They are just friends to me who are placed in their own tiny portion in my heart. Besides these four, I still appreciate the presence of the rest of my friends. They meant to much to me that when they're around, 'll just be happy because 'll get to not remember about my life instead enjoy being w them.

All these are just the third things i need in my life. I need to find my own physiological& safety needs first. Yes, i believe in the hierarchy.

Have a ride of my wild life if i must say.
Would you?

how'd you like my pink kebaya? :)

edit//

I am in the Big Bang's music mode right now. Hehehehe.
I need to enroll myself in a dance class soon!
:)

How's my raya so far? Eve of Eid& First day is always the best, the rest of the days?
Nope, not as much.
Now that vacations is starting to kick in,
shop/raya outings/dates = awesome.

oh and somebody is spotted w a new sidebangs! :}
it was hard departing w my fringe but had to. :}

xo.

You were too angst.

random rambling.

VMAs! :)
byeeeeeeeee.

sense of humour

I kept watching this video for over 10 times already and yet, i can't seem to stop laughing.
Not being racist btw, it's meant to be like that.
:)
Stef& Dha, this is for you :)


Thanks to Nab for accompanying me just now.
I think I've become a red blooded woman today(?).
Major cleaning to be done tonight.

I've been reflecting and everything's in the drafts. Will update about it i think.
Till next time.

CR week is great for a start.
For our new 1.2, we'll study a new topic and instead of biological science, we'll be taking up behavioral science. I kinda like it.
It's like drama class but very scientific& also interesting.
Probably a good topic for a person who is unsure of themselves, for example, me. Very very contradicting girl or is it egoistic? Hopefully 'll find out soon after 've read up more on Maslow's Hierarchy.

Anw, 'm actually glad that we have CR week tho it's like a week before the festive season and it's v redundant, i had fun catching up w the crazy(not theoretically) girls, the different clique girls& i kinda....miss some of the boys. So yes, I love it up till now despite having to bath after sahur straight away and take the early crowded train.

After school today, Ibu picked me up from school and we headed off to Geylang(for the first time this year) w me still in my uniform. Idah&Fiqa even said to me just now, ni baru punk rock. Haha!
Got my outfit finally, was v sleepy so i waited for her in the car while she bought food for break fast later at home. Reached home just in time for buka.

My "bible" is giving me unnecessary aches at my hands.
I need to get a new bag asap.
I need to get a new handbag? Should i? 've got too much already but.....nevermind.
I need to get a new pair of heels because mine is officially broken.
Okayyyyyyyyyyy I can't wait for Friday!
bye.

It got you too curious because you were thinking too much about?
Me.
:)

just admit it.

I love her pop/blues/jazz sound.
Wish she had curled her hair, would be more better.
I love how successful she is now.
:)